How to review music without really trying

While chatting to DJ Bebe last week, I was distracting myself from my otherwise non-exciting work life by providing extremely short music reviews of new albums I have gotten recently. e.g.

Sponky - new gomez album is good
DJ Bebe - goodo
Sponky -
new snow patrol is patchy
DJ Bebe - you are my personal music reviewer

So I thought, hey I can write some music reviews and force people to read them (if I can make you read about my dreams, music reviews won't be hard to force upon you), but honestly, I haven't got the stamina to write long winded analyses of albums with artistic influences clearly delineated and lists of what strange instruments were used. So, I give you the intuitive’s music review:

• Placebo: Meds - good music to kill vampires to
  
• Augie March: Moo, you bloody choir: Excellent lush music to put on when you don't really need to listen too hard to it. Actually a little annoying (too repetitive) if you are listening to it on purpose.
  
• Clare Bowditch and the Feeding set: What Was left – somewhat patchy, but when she gets it right, she really gets it right - see 'I thought you were God' and 'The Thing about Grief'. Still also love 'Divorcee at 23' despite the multitude of times it has been played on JJJ.
  
• The Mountain Goats: Bablyon Springs EP & Palmcoder Yajna EP - Slow tracks are quite depressing (as usual with the Mountain Goats) but the perky tracks are defiant, aggressive and happy. Some of my favourite lyrics:"we were Norwegians, come down from the north, attacking the walls of the fortress, i was permanently at the point of exhaustion, you were gorgeous" (butter teeth) and "carpenter ants in the dresser, flies in the screen, it will be too late by the time we learn what these cryptic symbols mean" (Palmcorder Yajna)
  
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Show your bones - music to strut to
  
• Gomez: How we operate - Definitely the best Gomez album in a while. Title track is excellent, I expect to see it leveraged as a movie montage sometime soon. "Cry on demand" is memorable for the lines "now I realise, I realise they were wrong, because what happens in Vegas, don't take very long, to travel cross continents and onwards overseas onto our little island, our city, our home..."
  
• Snow Patrol: Eyes Open - Pretty sure the guy playing guitar in this band can only do one thing. If you like an album that sounds the same for the entire album and is all about love - lost love, pining for love, i love you more than anything else, won't you please love me - this is for you. Don't listen too hard, it's not that meaningful.
  
• The Dresden Dolls: Yes, Virgina - very good at what they do but definitely not for everyone. I have heard it described as a new form of jazz or punk cabaret and I can't come up with a better description, so for those that don't know about them, this band sings in the very discordant, angry piano kinda vein, with a strong line in weird song topics (e.g. Coin operated Boy, Sex Change). Don't listen to this if you are feeling fractured already - I got through 2 tracks on Thursday night after a hard day at work and decided to stop as it was making me even more angry than I already was (which I didn’t even think this was possible).