Not a colour that occurs in nature

Not a colour that occurs in nature
Originally uploaded by Sponky's Modern Life.

What you are currently viewing is a real picture of a real foodstuff that you can go out and purchase in your local supermarket. These 'Chili and Lime' cornchips were purchased for a work function but most of the attendees recoiled in horror at the colour, hence the chips left over for this shot.

THIS IS COLOUR 124. If you see it on some packaging, put down the food, and run the other way

Aeon Flux

Not the best movie I have ever seen, but certainly not the worst (Ghost Dog is the record holder there). Points go to the person who did the male costumes... quilting as a design feature (see here for an example). I spent most of the movie working out how long it would take to make 1 jacket...

The Hoff in green

As yesterday was St Patricks day, I sent out this fabulous shot to my friends and relations in form of celebration. Here are some of the comments I got back:

• Betty Sue: DO not defile my inbox with The Hasselhof! His n i p p l e s are burnt onto my retina.
• Mary-Anne: Oh, that is sooo wrong in so many ways! Gave me a chuckle though :-)
• AnnTheAnalyst: ewww. I just ate too much for lunch as well.
• DJ Bebe: I have a special gmail tag for hasselhoff-related stuff, just like this.
  Sponky: Why?
  DJ Bebe: So I know where I can get some hasselhoff whenever I need it

The pain of having a perfect joke and not using it

I wrapped my banana in foil today because I broke the stem when I was getting it this morning. I have been waiting all morning for someone ask me why, so I can say 'Because the banana was worried it's thoughts were being read by aliens' but no-one has asked me yet. Sigh.

For the love of the zombie

I was asked on the weekend by my mother "while on earth do you have this obsession with zombies?". A good question, given my current phase of zombie related dreams, xbox games and movies. Well, folks, she asked, now you have to listen.

1. I LOVE "end of the world" scenarios. Why? Because people shit me, and at the end of the world, there will be a lot less people. Also, the shoes. If it's the end of the world, the appropriate footwear will be boots (with combat pants) so my feet will always be comfortable and I won't have to shave my legs. Let's overlook that if it really was the end of the world that I would cut myself and die of blood poisioning in the first week.
2. As mentioned above, people shit me. When people turn into zombies, they aren't people any more, and it's perfectly ok to shoot them in the head.
3. While zombies are scary, you always know what you are dealing with. No creepy ghosts in the attic, no slime monsters down the drain, it's just a lot of drooling and desire for brains.
4. There is a easy peasy way of dealing with a zombie: SHOT GUNS. No fussing around with spells, chanting, magical circles or pendants. Just shoot 'em.

So, ask youself, don't you think you should love zombies too?

Reality TV I am not watching

• Trials and tribulations of the morbidly obsese
• I'm a B grade celebrity whose star is fading and I'll do anything to remain on TV, even dance
• Anything associated with Mark Burnett
• Plastic surgery solves all!
• The Commonwealth Games
  

Real life is getting pizza cheese stuck in your laptop... stay tuned to see if Sponky electrocutes herself when getting it out...

For those who think blogging is self indulgent...

Check out the Australian Story "A Gift Horse" here. This was a real story about some woman (who wears pearls while riding horses in the Kimberley) who saw a brumbie while in a helicopter and then arranged a muster to capture that particular horse. This effort included about 12 people and the creation of 30 km of road!!! Arrgh. Just buy a damn horse already.

I have been breathing this crap in

Having never given birth or cleaned out a septic system (ask Betty Sue about this one, she has GREAT story about cleaning septic systems), this task is now on my top ten of nasty stuff (I tried to think of ten, but the other most disgusting thing I can think of is when my fingers grew together due to tinea under my cast when I broke my arm, so lets say top two). When I say I, I actually mean US, as Husband-person took one look at this job and decided I couldn't do it by myself.

At my father's urging and with the help of a rough and ready demonstration at his place, we armed ourselves with paint brushes, orange oil, glen 20, metho, sheets and towels, and got stuck in.

Gross out number one: looking under the cover revealed an impressive growth of mould all over the cover and the grills which took me a good hour with a entire pack of cotton buds to clean off
Gross out number two: the amazing collection of lint in the filters, which was even more impressive because we only cleaned them out 2 months ago
Gross out number three: the delight black growths (also mould) in the unit itself
Gross out number four: When Husband-person cleaned all the crap off the wheels of the fan, with no shirt on. I came in to find his chest and arm hair encrusted with nasty black mould/dust. urk.

At various times during this process I wanted to kill myself, the airconditioner and Husband-person. However, we survived intact (except for my moment of fear when I thought Husband-person was going to take to the unit with a hammer to get the cover back on) and the airconditioner now smells of NOTHING AT ALL.

Yuch yuch yuch yuch yuch.

P.S. If anyone wants instructions on how to clean their air conditioning unit, happy to oblige. Not going to help though.
P.P.S. This process has put me off any desire to a/c the rest of the house, just from the perspective of having to clean more than one unit.

Dream Log 2

Zombies. I think my love of the zombie was getting out of control with this dream. Perhaps I will have a break from zombies now I have finished Doom3.

Kris, Janito the CEO, Husband-person and I were in Janito’s blue station wagon. For some reason we KNOW the zombies are coming (Janito must have ears in the underground human experiments movement), and we are at a large shopping centre stocking up on camping gear and tinned food so we can flee for the hills. Husband-person is upset at John Howard’s overly proscriptive gun laws (dammit, nowhere to get a shotgun at such sort notice) so we settle for the interim solution of home made fire bombs courtesy of cheap and nasty bottles of scotch and ripped up shirts.

For some reason, we wait until NIGHT TIME until all the zombies have surrounding the shopping centre to flee, and have to charge our way out of the drooling horde… at this point, had a very weird portion of the dream where we are sitting around eating noodles while watching the zombie hordes roll on in, before getting back into the action.

At this point in the dream, we have a brainwave that Mark Baohm (hi Mark!) knows someone with a gun store, so we head off to his place. Once we get to the gun store, Husband-person gets all excited by the choice and we then fill up Mark’s battered old white 4WD to the brim with explosive and incendiary devices and move on to the next part of the plan: heading up to DJ Bebe…

Obviously while all this was going on, I have made a call to DJ Bebe and Handyman, instructing them to find an isolated defendable location with excellent visibility, it’s own water supply and generator. Being a country boy, Handyman know JUST the place… but it was then time to get up so I can’t tell you if we managed to survive the zombie onslaught. Let’s hope so.

Small things

The status of my amazon order has changed from 'yet to be shipped' to 'shipping soon'.