Friday, February 02, 2007

Ramblings of a modern woman

So, I was reading a column by Maggie Alterton where she put together a list of things a modern accomplished woman should know how to do. It was all 'matching handbags to your shoes' and 'make a souffle' and 'program the VCR'. Hrm, not all that relevant. So I wrote my own list. Please feel free to add some more.

  • Say yes to doing 3 times out of 4 when doing new things. The 1 in 4 get out jail free card allows you to turn down that creepy guy and avoid doing anything that might set you on fire. (Authors note: sometimes this rule totally backfires on you e.g. Pirates of Penzance. But most of the time I am surprised how well it works and how many cool new things I have done). Also good for collecting transferable skills!
  • When you get good at something, work out how to teach other people to do it as well. It can be very rewarding and tell you if you really know what you are doing!
  • Learn to stick up for yourself and your opinions (if you don't already). Life is too short to be doing something crappy just because you didn't say no.
    On previous point: Realise you may have to ditch friends AND this doesn't make you a bad person. As they say in the movies: "I like to be surrounded by good people". If your so-called friend only waits until YOU make the effort or is continually criticizing you as a way to make themselves feel better, perhaps you should lose their number in an unfortunately phone-number deleting accident.
  • Make the effort to take preventative care of your body - floss, go to the doctor, dentist, optometrist, put dust mite covers on your bed, take your vitamins, do extremely personal things in the privacy of your own bathroom (Nasal irrigation: ask me how), deal with that dry skin, eat plenty of fresh foods, work out how to keep those bladder infections or fungal breakouts (whatever is your personal curse) under control. It will pay off in the long run, even if you feel like an Young Nanna at the time.
  • On previous point: Use Suncreen. And a hat. And a shirt. Everyone has a relative with bits of their body cut off to remove sun cancer, so no excuses!
  • On previous point also: Take responsibility for your general physical condition - thinking about it won't make you more flexible or thinner. Go do something about it. Most useful advice I have heard on this is - doesn't matter what exercise you pick, just pick something you can keep doing. Not sure I have found mine yet but will keep trying. Curves is going well, BTW.
  • Don't wait for anyone else to save you. This applies to work and your actual life. Get your shit together, work out what is it you want or need to do, and then do it. Nobody likes a victim. (also another reason to ditch friends...)
  • Learn to drive AND also to navigate. And give useful directions (Husband-person will attest I am working on that last one still). And also how to work the public transport system. Nothing is as satisfying as getting from one place to another with only your wits, three forms of transportation and $7
  • Don't fool around with superglue
  • Learn to cook from a book but also using your tastebuds. Makes it much easier to finish a dish when you find you forgot to buy the last 4 items on your grocery list.
  • Tell your parents they were right. About most of it, anyway.
  • Know how to play at least 3 card games. Other than solitaire.
  • When you are in a relationship, expect to have to compromise 85% of the time. You will probably only need to compromise 50% of the time, which means 35% of the time you can be excited about having your own way!
  • Learn to admit that you are doing something you know is bad but you will do it anyway, thank you very much. Like: eat that cake, make a disturbingly rich Kahula milkshake, or watch episodes of Smallville in the summer break.
  • When you buy a new bottle of personal lubricant, take the cap off and remove the silver safety seal. Nothing kills passion trying to fool with tiny silver pieces of plastic.
  • Don’t ever expect not to be afraid of things. This is unrealistic. Learn how to do things despite the fact you are scared out of your wits. Most of the time you will fool everyone else, and after a while, you can fool yourself as well.


At 9:32 AM, Anonymous Betty Sue said...

Can I add?

Have tools and know how to use them. You cannot put ikea furniture together with a platform sandal and a nail file.

You are not obliged to stay with anyone who treats you badly. Not boy friend, not friend, not employer, not phone company, not Lincraft.

Don't put things off. You don't want to be living a temporary life.

Know how to do at least one thing that is nothing to do with your job, really really well.

Understand and accept the hypocrisy of never taking your own advice :)

Nice to have you back, babe :)


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