Static Queen

Not sure if it is the dry weather, my leather soled shoes, wool pants or a combination of all of the above, but today at work I was able to build up a POWERFUL static charge in mere moments and then use it to scare unsuspecting co-workers.

We obviously don't have enough to do, because Marcio and I were reduced to trying to create a static shock version of that ET moment...

Apologies in advance (yes, it's a rant)

I have tried to avoid writing this post as long as I can, but I can no longer hold myself back.

WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO TV PROGRAMMING LATELY!!!
I love television. I realise this is not the appropriate, middle class view of TV (it's evil and must not be watched except for educational and news shows), but I do infact, love TV, as long as it has good actors, decent plots and reasonably good production values. Reality television is evil and must be stopped.
This is my current favourites and the list of sins the tv networks have inflicted upon them:

• Carnivale (cancelled, sob, after 2 series, when it was supposed to have 6 series to tell the full story). Possibly the one of the best tv series EVER (yes, I am still trying to finish Brideshead revisited).
• SVU (Channel Ten, if you change the time slot ONE MORE TIME and then show old episodes anyway, I am going to slap you)
• Alias (perhaps on sometime in the middle of the night in August, we'll see)
• Scrubs (moves from 11am to 10:30pm with no notice, I have given this one up because I never know when it's on)
• Mythbusters (get rid of that annoying red haired girl)
• Battlestar Galatica (see Alias, give up now and buy the DVD's next year)
• Firefly (cancelled after 14 episodes, you bastards)
• Spicks and Specks (a little too patchy, dependant on the guest quality far too much to be a good program ALL the time)CSI (see the post on George Ead's moustache)

The only show I have no actual complaint about is Las Vegas EXCEPT last season when channel 7 showed them all out of order.

TV stations of Australia: stop changing the schedule, show ALL the episodes IN ORDER in a BLOCK, take off big brother and dancing/singing with the stars and stop wasting our times with 20 to 1 and Where are they now. Entertainment is meant to be entertaining, not a hard slog through crap and boredom.

Dream Log 3

They say dreams are just your brain recycling alot of crap. This dream involves crap from:

• Batman begins - hmm, Christian Bale
• Unreal Championship 2 - purchased for me but Husband-person is playing it alot
• Every crappy horror movie ever made
• Every crappy martial arts movie ever made
• My trip to Japan

I am in a secret training facility for ninjas somewhere in Japan, and have completed all my training (as per the beginning of Batman Begins). There is actually a whole class of several hundred (in the worldest biggest secret training facility) and we are doing the final round of tests, which for some reason for the first part involve a whole bunch of yoga, followed by an exercise where we had to put glass louvers back into louver frames really fast.

At this point I get bored and wander off (no, you say, not Sponky) and try to work out what the rest of the the tests will be. I work out that part of the test will be some kind of one-on-one sword fighting as per Unreal Championship, facing off other trainee ninjas. For some reason the venue for this is a laundry with ALOT of ladders (thank you Jackie Chan).

It's the final part of the test that freaks me out and this bit eventually wakes me up. UNDER the laundry is the final part of the test. There is a whole bunch, for want of a better description, People Popiscles. Lots and lots of semi-concious people who have been impaled on poles, in a concrete room that is eerily lit with a red light. Alot of them are fat asian butchers with poofy hats. And the floor is full of drainage holes. Hrmmm. Obviously the secret ninja training facility has a pact with the devil (or a lesser series of demons, but I'm not sticking around to find out) so at this point I FREAK RIGHT OUT and go look for my passport. Because when you are on the run from evil, it's your passport that's going to help, right?

By the time I have found my passport, the other ninja's doing the test have slaughtered all of the People Popsicles and the floor is covered with blood, gore, people's heads etc. Grossness. And now they are LOOKING FOR ME. Because obviously not partaking of the evil slaughter of innocents makes me an enemy to demons everywhere. I escape with only my ninja sword (which has a nifty Hello Kitty mobile phone in the handle just like this one) and my trusty passport, having to squeeze through the exit which is actually the size of the hole on the Australia Post boxes. All that ninja training made me thin and flexible, obviously. I escape and realise I am in Nikko, Japan. I tack myself onto a tour group of Europeans and hope for the best.

At this point I woke up, still tramatised from the People Popiscles. Urk.

Goddammit

Yes, I am over my current job, but if I go home sick it's because I AM SICK Don't call me and say 'you seemed perfectly well this morning.' Would you like me to hock up a big gob of phlegm so you can see it for yourself?

Textile Artist

Despite my reservations, went back to the snobby quilt store today to purchase some materials for a circles quilt in muted tones. Once again, as predicted, the quilt store ladies were snobby, and to my horror, there was even a real life Prue & Trude pair loudly selecting 'japanese fabrics' for a 'mad, foolish quilt made of 4" squares' - women who have nothing better to do than hand made 10cm patch work squares. As someone who loves making stuff that is 30cm square so I don't have to spend years on it, I cringed and cringed and cringed.
Had a conversation about the lady who did their machine quilting, and I said, thinking about getting one of these, so I can do my own machine quilting. Response from snobby lady was 'why bother, you can pay someone to do it and you can start on the next one.' Hrm. This sums it up right there. Quilters are trying to make something pretty, even if they have to pay someone else to do part of it. I am trying to make something myself, so I can say I made it, and it's an expression of ME! Also, so I can develop cool techniques and skills - it's all about the creative process, not having something PERFECT at the end.
Like 6 1/2 stitches, I have decided I am not a QUILTER. I am actually a TEXTILE ARTIST. My credo is as follows

• The overall effect is what is important, not the price of the material
• It doesn't have to match
• It doesn't have to be perfect
• It doesn't have to be the traditional technique handed down over centuries
• It has to be fun to do (within reason, every process has a painful part).
  

So, this means, I can buy cheap material at Spotlight if it suits me, I can put scraps in, I can use op shop material I steal from Dj Bebe and big squares of 11" are always allowed. More credo updates to follow.

A personal message to George Eads

I NEVER WANT TO SEE A MOUSTACHE ON YOU EVER AGAIN.

There is so little on tv at the moment, please don't ruin CSI for me...

(According to wiki, it won't be around for long. Thank god.)

Not dead yet

Yes, still breathing. Work has been well, busy, annoying, there is alot of adjectives I could use here but honestly it's BORING so here's some stuff I AM happy about these days:

• We have finally worked out where the ants are coming from and have blocked the holes (yeah Husband-person) so you can now leave your cheese and cracker and salami unattended for two minutes without it getting infested.
• The dishwasher cleaning routine advised by Kevin (father-in-law-person) has actually worked and cleaned out all the stinky mould left by the previous owners.
• I have a new exciting sewing machine (http://janome.com/product_show.php?id=731) which Husband-person was nice enough to collect for me when I was too busy. DJ Bebe has seen it and now has knee-lift envy. Yes, it is TOTALLY awesome, thanks for asking. Would you like your name embroidered on something?
• Thanks to new sewing machine, have finished baby present for my friend Kathryn (and baby is not due until August, yeah Sponky). As Kathryn reads the Long Range Craft Jamboree occasionally, pictures will not be posted for the time being but can be delivered upon request via email.
• It's cool enough to wear jeans without sweating too much.
• Husband-person is cute and nice and warm (always handy in these cooler months). But still needs to shave.
• DJ Bebe has a big announcement (see her page for more details).
• DJ Bebe brought me some olives (and I have scoffed them all, yum yum).
• All my new CD's are good - Claire Bowditch, Augie March and some Mountain Goats EP.
• My brother's new desk is called the 'Command Centre' (it's not just a desk, it's a submarine as well).
• The Russian accents on Husband-person's new game are TERRIBLE and very amusing.
• Grandparents had lunch at our place on the weekend and used the new table (of which they approved) AND they got the train and it was EASY!

Things NOT making me happy

• Having trouble committing to a quilting pattern for the other quilt (black and white one) - have unpicked TWICE now and still not happy. HRM. Must commit (and JUST DO IT, as DJ Bebe says)
• There is NOTHING on TV to watch while you are unpicking your quilt yet again. All hail special features on Serenity DVD - watching a Joss Whedon film with the commentary on is actually quite informative and make unpicking less boring
• It's not light until 6am and it's dark again at 5:30pm
• 5pm to 6pm meetings
• Haven't one the lotto yet, so DJ Bebe and I must postponed our plans to create an internet based recycled material crafting empire
• Price of quilting material. Have worked out to make a queensized quilt I will need to spend between $300 and $500 on decent material. Poo. Not to mention the pain and suffering that will come from machine quilting it myself. Perhaps some of my next SAP bonus will go on one of these http://www.johnwattssewing.com.au/pgs/quilter1.htm