They say dreams are just your brain recycling alot of crap. This dream involves crap from:
- Batman begins - hmm, Christian Bale
- Unreal Championship 2 - purchased for me but Husband-person is playing it alot
- Every crappy horror movie ever made
- Every crappy martial arts movie ever made
- My trip to Japan
I am in a secret training facility for ninjas somewhere in Japan, and have completed all my training (as per the beginning of Batman Begins). There is actually a whole class of several hundred (in the worldest biggest secret training facility) and we are doing the final round of tests, which for some reason for the first part involve a whole bunch of yoga, followed by an exercise where we had to put glass louvers back into louver frames really fast.
At this point I get bored and wander off (no, you say, not Sponky) and try to work out what the rest of the the tests will be. I work out that part of the test will be some kind of one-on-one sword fighting as per Unreal Championship, facing off other trainee ninjas. For some reason the venue for this is a laundry with ALOT of ladders (thank you Jackie Chan).
It's the final part of the test that freaks me out and this bit eventually wakes me up. UNDER the laundry is the final part of the test. There is a whole bunch, for want of a better description, People Popiscles. Lots and lots of semi-concious people who have been impaled on poles, in a concrete room that is eerily lit with a red light. Alot of them are fat asian butchers with poofy hats. And the floor is full of drainage holes. Hrmmm. Obviously the secret ninja training facility has a pact with the devil (or a lesser series of demons, but I'm not sticking around to find out) so at this point I FREAK RIGHT OUT and go look for my passport. Because when you are on the run from evil, it's your passport that's going to help, right?
By the time I have found my passport, the other ninja's doing the test have slaughtered all of the People Popsicles and the floor is covered with blood, gore, people's heads etc. Grossness. And now they are LOOKING FOR ME. Because obviously not partaking of the evil slaughter of innocents makes me an enemy to demons everywhere. I escape with only my ninja sword (which has a nifty Hello Kitty mobile phone in the handle just like this one) and my trusty passport, having to squeeze through the exit which is actually the size of the hole on the Australia Post boxes. All that ninja training made me thin and flexible, obviously. I escape and realise I am in Nikko, Japan. I tack myself onto a tour group of Europeans and hope for the best.
At this point I woke up, still tramatised from the People Popiscles. Urk.